Comments on: How do parents justify?

By: sassydontpm

sassydontpm — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 23:00:59 +0000

Probably for the same reason I was such a terrible parent the first time. I didn’t know anything about raising kids so I started reading all these books from ‘experts’. What a freaking joke! I was worried about damaging his head, you hear all those psychologist stories about it being the mother’s fault. I didn’t realize it was the mother’s fault for not teaching her child self accountibility.
I finally threw the books out and started doing what I thought was right and my kids are so much better now, happier and healthier and they even behave in public!
I have 3 boys 16, 14, and 5. None of my kids smoke, drink, have sex, do drugs, steal or even skip school and no they don’t fool me either. I know the oldest one cusses (nothing major like the F word) but I can deal with that. He doesn’t do it in front of me, he knows better.
They know what they can get away with and what will happen if they overstep their boundries. But that’s just my 2 cents.
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By: pegbabb

pegbabb — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:24:59 +0000

Children do need to be disciplined to turn into good caring adults. Child rearing can be difficult. I donot believe in beating. There is a difference between spanking and a beating. Your idea of setting limits is good. A child is not going to do somthing just because you say so. There are so many things that need to be considered as a parent. As well you know. I taught my children that with actions there are consequences. What they might be will depend on their ages.
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I have four children and have tried my best. If you have difficult questions, there are plenty books on child rearing. You may also ask their pediatrician or their doctor. God bless you and your children. Take care.

By: Brandon M

Brandon M — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:38:59 +0000

I really don’t know what you’re talking about……bald…dead….i’m so confused
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By: siriusblackpearl

siriusblackpearl — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:56:59 +0000

Picky eaters is not big deal, unless they are in the extreme group. Kids need around 10 exposures to try something new.

However, I believe that parents are lazy or they have grown up without having things and they over-indulge and do not mean to have such spoiled kids.

Besides, there are all of these quacks on t.v. who are constantly telling parents that almost anything they do will traumatize their children for life.
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By: Ken

Ken — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:17:59 +0000

The truth is that a great number of the parents out there now had parents that did not care much about teaching them so how can they teach theirs. Yes it was the Hippy generation that really messed up the family relationship thing.

Every time a child does something that seems a little out of the norm it is o the doctor and wala a new mental problem is born. Oh and it could be the alergies causing this. Oops on the other hand it was the school teacher that caused it so home schooling is in order.

I for one can not stand to be around children in the EU or USA.
I want to take the parents and kick their so hard they will have to take off their shirt to….

Yes i am one that has had it with the young.

Would you believe that as old as I am most of the people I really get along with are the youngish but not below about 25. There are some out there.
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By: renosgirl2006

renosgirl2006 — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 19:27:59 +0000

You are right! We were just talking about this last night. Society plays a part because of the child abuse thing, no one can slap their child without getting arrested.
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By: fangtaiyang

fangtaiyang — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:55:59 +0000

Parents do not need to justify anything to you or to anyone else. Just as your neighbors worry about your kids needlessly when they do not see your van in the driveway, you are worrying needlessly about other peoples' children. You can only do your part and leave others to do theirs.
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By: Jack

Jack — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:38:59 +0000

My mom used to always tell me "I don’t care what you think of me right now, I do care what you will think of me when you’re 30."

Looks to me like you’re on the right track. Hang in there for the children’s sake.
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By: Eda M

Eda M — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:09:59 +0000

the fits and the screaming in public are the worst, they are embarrassing for the people watching as well as the parents, i don't think that parents do it on purpose i think that they let things slide and then it's out of control. not to mention that parenting has changed so much, my mom would whoop my arsse if i did things like that, once it is out of control, how do you get it back, discipline is such a hard thing to decipher, and i think that parents are scared of crossing lines so they don't even get close to them any more. the Hole thing is out of control!
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By: b3nnys_b4by

b3nnys_b4by — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:59:59 +0000

You’re right! Kids DO need boundaries and discipline and today it’s becoming more and more difficult to raise them properly. There’s so much emphasis in the media about child abuse and the definition of abuse, itself, seems to have changed over the years. I know my mom used ta’ spank me with a belt when i misbehaved. Not that i condone that, but i don’t think she was abusing me. I had misbehaved and i was being punished. She had a valid reason for doing what she did. Now, kids just look at you and threaten to call the police if you try any sort of disciplinary actions. It’s one thing to abuse your children, but isn’t it a form of abuse, too, if you don’t even discipline them at all?? I mean, how will they function in society if they aren’t made to follow any rules?

I’m with you….. i just don’t get it.
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By: sarabmw

sarabmw — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:31:59 +0000

One of the challenges of being a parent today is that there is no longer any respect for authority. I think things have changed. There was a time when the rule of parents was stronger and held kids faster. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that being a parent today is tougher than ever before. Blame it on the moral decay of society, the impersonal nature of technology, or the breakup of the home. Either way, contemporary parents feel out of touch with themselves and their children.

The solution is not to turn back time but to open our selves up to our children. Ironically, strength comes through vulnerability. Letting children see our
frustrations, pain, and failure can be a valuable lesson to them. Many parents can’t see the wisdom in being transparent to their children. Already debilitated, they can’t understand why they should give away their power. This notion of power comes from a false parenting authority of “Do
it because I said so” or “I am the parent therefore you must obey!” This is not true strength. This is force. Strangely enough, giving up this false
strength will lead parents to the true power of intimacy, in their family relationships.
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By: sinistermooess

sinistermooess — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:13:59 +0000

I pick my battles. My kids know that when they get the mom voice or the mom look, that the discussion is over and they will do what i have said…period. That said, I also think it is important for kids to learn that they do have some control over there lives. By kids i am talking more about older ones….my 9 yr old for example. There are instances where I will let her choose for herself and then deal with whatever consequences…good or bad…come out of that decision. How else is she going to learn what works for her and what doesn’t?

My youngest always tells me, "i don;t like you" when she has to do something she doesn;t want to. I respond to her, "nobody said you have to like me, but i still love you."
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By: jordan

jordan — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:01:59 +0000

well applaud yourself for being "mother of the year" because you have set bounderies. Everyone is going to raise their childern they way they wish just as you do there is no need to questions other peoples parenting just because you "think" your doing great with your own babies.we all walk different path no need to judge the next fellas
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By: heather47374

heather47374 — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:12:59 +0000

People are just getting lazy. Or they want to be the kids' friend, and not the parent. It's pathetic how many kids (of all ages), you see out there that are just rude and undisciplined.
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By: Lyn

Lyn — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:01:59 +0000

They are too tired, plain as that. Too much going on, too much work, TV, computer, games, stimulation in general. Discipline takes energy and most working (and even some SAH) parents don't have it. I wish families would cut out all the extracurricular stuff they cram down their kids' throats in the name of sports/education/I never got to do it excuses and replace it with actual parenting. Rant over!
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By: LittleRaysMama

LittleRaysMama — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:38:59 +0000

Someone in my family works for CAS and it takes a hell of alot more than a child to complain to them, that's just an excuse used by parents not to disipline their children. But there's a big difference between disipline and abuse and theres alot of parents that don't understand the difference.
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By: TRENT L

TRENT L — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:52:59 +0000

I see alot of it especially since we’ve had our second daughter we meet alot of new parents, who are trying to do the best they can.

I think alot of parents try to "Not do the same thing their parents did" which allows for looser and looser rules.

When me and my wife found out she was pregnant we talked about alot of htis stuff, I grew up in a stern home with rules, and I wanted to continue that tradition.

And my daughters for the most part people are surprised how well behaved they are, and it takes very little work but staying constant with the decisions you make, make sure that both parents are involved in rules not "Go ask your mom".

It worries me when I see the lack of respect kids have these days to one another and to their elders and where this world is going.
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By: tabithap

tabithap — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:24:59 +0000

I think too many parents now are afraid of thier kids not liking them so they just let them have their own way.

Personlly, if your child has never said "I hate you", you’re not being a good parent. My oldest about 3 the first time he said it because I wouldn’t let him stay up late and watch TV. I said I was sorry he felt that way, but he still needed to go to bed, and once he in his room I sat down and cried. But he learned that he couldn’t manipulate my emtions to get what he wanted. Too many parents aren’t willing to do that.
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By: skcs69

skcs69 — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:56:59 +0000

The new parents of today is ritiln.
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By: Uncle Tim

Uncle Tim — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:22:59 +0000

Because now the government is so in your business all your son has to do is complain to the right person that you are abusing him by not letting him eat cereal 24/7 and CPS will be beating down your door to take your son away.
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